


Running Monologue

by Stormchild



Category: Young Justice
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-12-16
Updated: 2014-12-16
Packaged: 2018-03-01 19:07:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 795
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2784314
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Stormchild/pseuds/Stormchild
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Kaldur's thoughts for one day.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Running Monologue

**Author's Note:**

> Mostly not serious.

Next time I decide to let Roy pick my alarm, I want someone to punch me. I hate most of Roy’s music. It’s so fucking loud. Suits him. He’s loud. Loud and angry, and crap this is exactly him. Weird. I never noticed his taste in music is exactly like him.

Ugh, it’s so early. You’d think I’d be used to this after the military. But nope. Mornings still suck. Especially when I’m waking up only to deal with the most annoying kind of shit. A group of kids and fucking Batman.

Blah blah blah. Yeah, Bats. We get it. Covert. Because we’re sooo good at covert. Fucking dumbass. These stupid goddamn kids blow everything up. Every fucking mission. Way to forget that SOME OF US have a serious heat weakness. Roy’s bedroom in the middle of the night is as hot as I can handle. That, and Roy in the morning when he’s half asleep and still has all those hickeys on his hips and- Ahem. Clingy-ass, ‘I grew up in the desert, I can’t turn the heat off’.

God, Wally. She isn’t into you. Take a fucking hint. You’re supposed to be the smart one. Literally everyone else here get she’s not into you. Keep it up and Artemis is going to punch you. Hell, I’ll punch you.

Wally, shut up. Who do you think you’re fooling? You are the definition of overcompensation. We know you’re gay. I’ve seen you checking out Roy. Roy’s seen you checking out Roy. And we’ve all seen you checking out Conner. Not that I blame you. If he wasn’t technically six months old, I would not hesitate to strip him down and touch his skin.

And pound that ass like the piece of meat it is. Actually, he’d probably do the pounding. Which I would be very okay wi- wait, Bats is sending us where?

Oh, yes. Let’s send the Atlantean and the Martian on the desert mission. The two people who don’t perform well in heat. Go, Batman. Excellent resource management. Why not send the desert guy into the desert? Oh, right. Because the desert guy is an adult who doesn’t have time for a team of kids. A mature, responsible adult who spends Friday nights playing Call of Duty in his boxers.

Yes, Artemis. You are tough and intimidating. We get it. No-one cares. Take it out on the bad guy, not Wally. Actually, if he hits on M’gann one more time, take it out on Wally. After the mission, though. Seriously, focus. Focus, you stupid kids. How did any of you even end up as sidekicks? Roy was right. I am too old for this team.

Are you serious? Bats is not going to be happy at all. He’s never happy. And he’s definitely not happy when things get blown up. Again. This is seriously getting old. And there’s sand in places where sand should not be. I need a shower. A dozen showers. There is sand in my cuts, this cannot be sanitary. If I get an infection, I’m punching someone. I’m punching Batman. Right in the teeth.

No, Wally. I am not showering here. I am going home so I can get this sand out of my ass. As much as I bet you’d love that image, not happening. Well, maybe in a few years when you’re old enough to drive.

I do not have a redhead fetish.

Okay. Maybe I have a little bit of a redhead fetish. It’s normal.

Speaking of redheads-

Everything is on fire. Of course. This is Roy. He’s one lighter and an explosive arrow short of being a pyromaniac. I really should not be surprised. Of course I have to clean up his mess, too. He’d better make it up to me later. That ass looks great in spandex. No wonder Wally wants him. If there wasn’t that age difference, I wouldn’t mind watch-

Oh baby, what did you get yourself into? Sometimes I think Roy doesn’t care about himself. Why else does he let himself get so hurt. No sex tonight, I guess. Half our nights end like this, I shouldn’t be surprised anymore.

Why does he have to cling? Really. It’s so hot in here, and I’m so drenched in sweat I might as well be sleeping in the bathtub.

Ow- that’s my kidney! What are you mumbling about? Of course I’m still here, it’s not like I can leave with you crushing me. Where do you expect me to g- oh.

Oh honey, I’m still here. Yes, you’re safe, I have you. I love you too. Go back to sleep. Go to fucking sleep, and quit kicking.

It’s too hot in here, but I’ll live. I’ll be mad at you in the morning.

**Author's Note:**

> If you liked this story, consider [buying me a coffee](https://ko-fi.com/A0034VT) and supporting my original work.


End file.
